Operation Himmler

I've always enjoyed reading about September 1st, 1939 (arguably I should be referring to August 31st, 1939). To justify its invasion of Poland in WWII, Germany preemptively initiated a multitude of "false flag" SS operations, umbrella'ed under the term "Operation Himmler" (also known as Operation Canned Goods - I'm not entirely sure on this minor name). Operation Himmler is considered the first military operation of WWII in Europe.


My favorite of the operations is the Gleiwitz incident, in which a troop of German saboteurs commandeered a Polish broadcasting station, and sent anti-German messages into the airspace. Of course somebody always has to get shot, lethally injected, and dressed as a Germanic saboteur, so a Polish sympathizer was brought along and left for the aftermath. The Third Reich claimed this dead Polish sympathizer's death (along with 20 other incidents brought on by "Polish aggression" - now that's a new one) to justify Germany's invasion of Poland with 1.8 million troops.

Now, you may ask - why, Great Scott - why do you enjoy this blend of irony, injustice, and absurdity? Because, dear Reader, because it is so ambiguous. To a knowledgeable Western world Reader, Operation Himmler (Canned Goods) is terribly obvious - of course Germany planned all of these incidents. However, if you were an untamed Yak roaming down from the Russian steps and you saw a dead German citizen in the snows of Poland, you'd be all "mrrrwaaaahhHHHHH! Damn Poles and their aggression!" and demand a sausage, as you ambled a long way, and are really hungry. After a nice 10' sausage link and a nap in the field across the street from the broadcasting station, you'd hear the sirens and the war drums and the charging Polish cavalry attempting to outmaneuver Panzers, and you'd think "What the hell, Poland? Really? Why did you try to take on these guys?" and get really confused.

Oh dear Reader, this incident would be so ambiguous to you, if you were a Russian Yak (please pronounce this with a Russian accent - it sounds so much better).

And there you have it, dear Reader. The essence of this blog, and the essence of me. I fear I have given too much, or I fear that I have given too little. For in reality, what is reality? Now I've simply confused myself, and dear Reader, please follow http://itscakeforkillers.blogspot.com/ if you want words from a confused Man.